IT’S THAT WAY: An irreverent look at THE EXPLORERS

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IMMIGRATION

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“We have no country if we have no border. We have some bad hombres here and we’re gonna get ’em out.”

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“…they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with [them]. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”

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Border Patrol, Homeland Security

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Man with paddle, “Not until you pass quarantine!!! and a visitor’s visa ONLY!”

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Chris Columbus: First we wipe out the locals. Second we wipe out the locals. Third we wipe out the locals. Fourth we wipe out the…

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Homeland Security.

Fashion

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Men at left ROFLAO. Man at right: What! You don’t like our baggedy ass shorts?

 

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“I don’t do Fashion. I am Fashion.”

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Bling, bling, bling.

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Thanks for the outfits. Just perfect for the weather here in Labrador. Have you thought of marketing them on Amazon or E-Bay?

Food

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Guests lower left corner, talking among themselves: “I told them they either need to eat more veggies or eat their fish and meat raw.”

MEDICINE

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The first prescription: scurvy prevention “Just close your eyes and swallow.”

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Explorer dying of scurvy: I don’t feel so good. And what was that old Indian trying to tell me about cedar tea?

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Never listen to the locals. What do they know!

Department of Highways

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Why do they call this country “wilderness”? Did they think these trails from Atlantic to Pacific just appeared as soon as their pinkish pinkies touched our territories?

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I think he said it was that way.

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It’s definitely that way.

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Which way is it?

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It’s that way.

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“Champlain discovers Georgian Bay.” “Gosh, thanks we never knew it was there!”

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It’s that way.

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Man in background with hand over mouth, “He’s always dropping that thing. Can’t he just follow the signs on the trail?”

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But it’s that way!

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Lasalle standing up. Man with paddle on right thinking, “How many times do we have to tell them? Don’t stand up in the canoe!”

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Sit the f— down! How many times have we told you!

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How many times do we have to tell you! Sit down in the f—— canoe! And by the way, it’s that way!

Nuisance Abatement and Noise Control 

800px-jean_nicoletNoise Induced Hearing Loss: NIHL can also be caused by extremely loud bursts of sound, such as gunshots or explosions, which can rupture the eardrum or damage the bones in the middle ear. This kind of NIHL can be immediate and permanent. Loud noise exposure can also cause tinnitus—a ringing, buzzing, or roaring in the ears or head.

Emergency Road Side Assistance

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Inuit people watched the “explorers” of the Franklin expedition starve and die of scurvy. The Inuit told the British sailors that they must do what they did — eat the blubber and internal organs (heart, liver, kidneys, etc.) of the seals and walruses. The British refused this wise and friendly advice. Later the Inuit told those in search of the lost Franklin expedition that the “explorers” ended up eating each other. Charles Dickens, the famous novelist, said that the Inuit were “lying savages,” whose testimony was “the chatter of a gross handful of uncivilised people,” who killed and ate the sailors themselves.

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Franklin Expedition, 1845.

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Well, we told them, and told them, and told them.

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We said, “Go back that way.”

MINISTRY OF TRUTH

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Sir Alexander Mackenzie: Of course I have a halo. I’m an EXPLORER.

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They told me it was that way… and we could have it.

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